Ike Graham: [on the perfect proposal] Look, I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you're the only one for me.

Maggie Carpenter: Is there one 'right' person for everyone?
Ike Graham: No, but I think attraction is mistaken for rightness.

Maggie Carpenter: Benedict.
Ike Graham: Arnold.
Maggie Carpenter: I love Eggs Benedict, I hate every other kind. I hate big weddings with everybody staring. I'd like to get married on a weekday while everybody's at work. And when I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse.
Ike Graham: Should I be writing this down?

Ike Graham: SHZAAM! I think I'm in Mayberry. >

Mrs. Pressmann: I'm thinking of changing back to my maiden name.
Walter Carpenter: Can you still remember it?

Peggy: Have you heard my husband's morning show? "Wake Up With Flem?"

Maggie Carpenter: You're a cynical, exploitive, mean-hearted creep who wouldn't know real love if it bit him in the armpit.

(Source: IMDB)